From Mama J, to certain parents at the Children's Museum today

To the father of the child who got bubble juice in his eyes,
You are lucky I didn't kick you in the balls. I was just trying to be kind, while your child's eyes were covered in soap and already red, and point you in the direction of the paper towels. There was no need to snap at me and exclaim "I know where they are" as I was just trying to help you out. Telling your son that "it is ok" over and over, while he is screaming in pain and his vision is impaired will not help the situation. As a mother who has experienced the exact situation, I was just trying to speed up the process of getting your son some sweet relief from his burning bubble covered eyes. No need to be a dick to the kind pregnant lady.

To the old Chinese grandmother of the two brats in the toddler area,
Pay attention to your out of control grandchildren. And teach your grandchildren how to behave around other kids. Your granddaughter literally punched my daughter in the stomach to get by her quicker, forcing M to fall backwards and start to cry. I tried to get her to realize she did something wrong, but your crazy granddaughter just ran away and plowed into other kids. Get her under control - you are lucky I didn't grab her by the arm and give her a talking to. And who I assume was her brother you were also "watching" - teach him you don't push kids down slides just because you have no patience to wait your turn. You shouldn't bring your kids to places like this if they are going to act like effing crazy people and hurt whomever gets in their way. Sitting there smiling, being totally oblivious to what they are doing is not good grand-parenting. Get off your ass and pay attention.

To the mother of the child who sat in the car driver seat in the toddler area for over 10 minutes,
There are unwritten rules that you need to be made aware of. If you are at a crowded museum, and children are waiting patiently for a turn on something - in this case, to sit and "drive" the car - your kid does not get to take his sweet ass time and play with it as long as he wants. The first time we waited patiently next to the car for our turn you told us "he is playing and will be done in a couple minutes." When we came back five minutes later, and your child was crying hysterically while still sitting in the same seat, you told my daughter "he is almost done, you just need to be patient..." it took every ounce of self control for me not to punch you in the face. Your kid does not get to take his time doing whatever he wants to do when there are 10 kids waiting to play with the same thing. He gets a minute or two, and then the next kid gets a turn - it is an unwritten law that apparently every other parent in the world knows except you.

Sincerely,
Mama J