Rosie Pope, I'm Not Mad at You...for now

She's back! And pregnant again,
with less of a lisp!

Tuesday night the second season of Pregnant in Heels began on Bravo. For research sake, I decided to DVR it, even though I compare watching the first season to having a hot poker shoved in my eye. I found Rosie Pope, who is a pregnancy "concierge" to rich diva a-holes (that is the best way to describe these wretched people) in New York City, to be incredibly annoying - her voice like nails on a chalkboard. But I sat down yesterday with my fancy grilled cheese and diet Pepsi (my lunch of choice as of late) and decided to suffer through it. To my surprise, I did not suffer at all...

The first episode profiles two couples: Helena and Svet, whose sex life has dwindled in her third trimester of pregnancy (it is actually Helena who is looking to spice it up believe it or not,) and Christina and Fritz, probably the kookiest couple I have ever seen (he wears clown clothes, and she has a Velma Kelly hair do in the front, with a crazy long ponytail in the back), who need help finding a Midwife to prepare for a home birth.

Even though Helena and Svet were first introduced on the show as the typical rich douchey couple that Rosie caters to (I drive a Maserati! I have someone come over every day to do my hair! We buy whatever we want!), they quickly normalized and grew on me as they talked about how their sex lives have changed since having kids. For Svet, sex had taken a backseat to his fatherly duties as he couldn't picture himself sexually with his wife while she was so pregnant. He felt like he had lost his mojo as he had let himself somewhat "go" and gained extra weight, and his needs had taken a backseat in order to provide for his family and care for his wife and kids. He now perceived his wife as more of a mother than a sex object. Helena would have been happy getting it on 2-3 times a day...she is crazy pants. In the end Rosie set them up with a life coach/trainer, a Kama Sutra specialist and a night at a swanky hotel, and all was right in their world again.

Now, let's talk about the kookie hipster doofuses...whom I loved. Ok, at first I wanted to smack that Ringo Starr wig (ok it wasn't a wig but looked like a wig) off Fritz's goofy head. Did I mention that he used to rap in Chinese in the subway? Wow. He came off a bit controlling in the first few segments - it seemed like it was his decision to do a home birth, not his wife's, and it also seemed like he wouldn't even let her consider going to a hospital because "hospitals are where you go when there is an emergency, not to give birth." Rosie, and I, wanted to kick him in the junk so he would realize what a douche he was being. He quickly changed his tune to one of wanting to do whatever his wife wanted as it was her going through all this, and he showed some serious emotion by getting choked up on many occasions when talking about the birth and being a father.

But then he said he didn't want to put his baby in diapers, but to use the elimination technique (or whatever it is called when you try to potty train your baby that should be in diapers). Rosie put him to the test by taking him on an outing to the grocery store, with fake baby in tow, as well as two turkey basters - one filled with a yellow liquid to represent pee, and the other (you guessed it) with something that resembled thick gravy, or "poo." I was horrified by this whole segment, but relieved when Fritz finally came to his senses after getting the fake baby to "poo" in the garbage can on the street. What a clown.

So they have a home birth, it is very emotional and gave me flashbacks to the pain I am going to endure again in a few months (but I will be the sane one in the hospital with the epidural that hopefully works this time around). But then something terrifying happend. Christina ate the placenta via a smoothie that Rosie made for her. She threw that blood and guts concoction back, and dribbled it all over her face, which "thank you Bravo!" was shown in a close up! Eating lunch while watching this show is a horrible idea. Horrible. Their baby boy, named Keats, could not have been cuter though, and I actually love his name believe it or not.

All in all I was not nearly as horrified by this episode as I was by all the episodes in the first season. After watching the "this season on Pregnant in Heels..." segment at the end of the show I am guessing that they put the best and most "normal" couples in the first show to draw the viewers back in, because there were some crazeballs clips from upcoming shows. There were at least two women that I wanted to throw a shoe at, and I only saw 5 seconds of their episodes. At least Rosie is getting speech lessons to try and get rid of her lisp!

We will see how many more episodes I watch...probably all of them, as I for some reason I watch a lot of shows that I detest.

Did anyone else watch this?