My first, my last, my everythings

M & V - my everythings!

My husband and I have always agreed that we would have two kids, no more, no less. Thanks to modern science we have been blessed with two healthy amazing little girls, which means our family is now complete. We are a party of four. We can play man-to-man from here on out. We don't need to use the third row of our car. We can all ride comfortably on Disney rides together in the same car/row/etc.. But with this realization that our family is complete comes a finality to so many things in my life right now.

My baby Val is growing up so quickly. She will be four months this week, is already getting her first tooth, and is trying her hardest to sit up. She is also already growing out of her 6 month old clothes. With each of these milestones, and firsts comes a wave of sadness. She is my last baby. This is the last time I will be experiencing all of these things with one of my children. Sure there will be milestones and momentous occasions for the rest of their lives, and I will love every moment I have with them, but it makes me so sad to think that the baby moments are going by so quickly!!

I am trying to hold onto every second I have with Val, more so that I did with Marlo (yes I have revealed that M's name is Marlo, and if I see a rise in the baby name Marlo, I will take full responsibility for that! :). I am not in a rush to get Val out of our room at night (actually our bed for that matter) because sometimes I love the fact that she only wants to sleep on me all snuggled in my boobs (seriously she loves to sleep with her face smushed right into my boob.) When my husband says he will hold her and I don't want to let her go, it isn't because I don't trust him of course, it is because I really don't want to let her go...I really want to hold onto my baby, as a baby, as long as I can. I want to keep her a little nugget, that needs her Mama for everything, for as long as I can! Because I know that in just a short time, she will be big like her sister and want to do everything by herself, and scream for her Daddddddddy!! or Grandma!! instead of wanting to run to me.

Sure there are days like today, after getting up with her 6 times during the night, that I wish she slept through the night, in her crib, in her room but most days I love waking up with her little head right below my chin, watching her rub her chubby face into my neck.

The way you are with your second is so much different than with your first. With your first you are so careful in all that you do - following every rule and guideline out there - and blabbing about most of if to all. Seriously, if I read about one more person's kid sleeping through the night on Facebook I will scream! And no, we don't need to see a photo of your kid every single month in the same pose. (Sorry, just had to vent about that.) I will admit I did some of these things (like announcing most of what Marlo did from giant blow out poops to eating solids for the first time) with our first, but with Val it is a different story as we are basically in survival mode most of the time.

Your second gets less individual attention than your first did. I was in classes with Marlo beginning at age 6 weeks, but with Val I am just starting classes with her at 16 weeks, largely because I don't have nearly as much free time as I had when I first had Marlo. Having a toddler to take care of, while raising a newborn is a whole different story.

And Marlo - where do I begin...she turned three last week. THREE!!! And is the height of a 5 year old. She is in the 99% for height and is growing like a weed. She is already in size 4-5 girls clothing!! No more T next to her size and it kills me! She wants to "do it by myself mama?" with everything she does.  She loves to help me around the house, from scooping out the dogs food, to putting away dishes. I feel like yesterday she was just a little lump of baby goodness, sitting in her bouncy seat smiling up at me, and now she is going to school, and dancing and singing around the house.

So far we have been lucky to not have experienced much of the terrible twos with Marlo (knock on everything) as she gets her temperament mostly from her laid back daddy. I know this just means that come teenage time she is going to be a handful (hide your sons everyone!)

So what is the point of this post, you ask yourself (and I ask myself as I feel like I am just rambling now?) The point is that time is going by too quickly, and because of that I am having a hard time accepting that my family is now complete. I want to be able to cherish every little moment, but raising two kids is serious biz! I am lucky if I have time to take a shower, let alone photograph Val sitting up.

And as I clean out Val's dresser and box up her 3-6 month clothes I am extremely sad that she won't have a sibling to pass them on to, like Marlo did. Again, I don't want another child as 2 is just fine, but just the finality of it all is bringing me to tears every day. Well that and the serious lack of sleep has me crying at everything from commercials to catalogs.

Ok - I should stop typing and start napping. Thanks for listening to my ramblings...once again :)