These days it seems like you can’t go on the internet and escape the articles profiling moms who want it all, and attempt to do it all. But honestly, I’m having a hard time believing that so many mothers out there truly feel like they really need to meet those perfectionist standards. My gut is telling me that the majority of the time, that’s not the general consensus among us. I think we need to give ourselves increasingly more credit. We are much more reasonable than that, and let’s not let the world think otherwise.
I’m what I like to call a “Mom in the Middle.” That means, I may have grand ideas of what I’d love my house to look like, how I’d love to raise my children, and how I’d love to pamper my husband, but I’m also pretty damn realistic. And I’m not really willing to make outlandish or overly-optimistic rules that I know I’ll break in less time than it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. For instance, I don’t generally like to have the TV on around my daughter, but as I say, if the Today Show isn’t on yet it’s too early for my day to start. So if Bird is up ridiculously, nausea-producing, verge-of-tears early, I’m going to need a little something to keep me going. And yes, my husband appreciates my cooking, but he is well aware that to keep my sanity (and everything else running smoothly), he will probably only get a home-cooked meal three times a week. And I very much like my daughter to eat organic and healthy food (as she is just starting to consume table food), but if we are out to dinner and she has a piece of something somewhat unknown, I’m going to chalk it up to a fantastic sensory learning experience rather than a “mom-fail” (crap, were the beans in that burrito canned? :::insert gasp here:::).
My point is, as parents, we can’t really expect other people to stop judging us so much if we don’t stop doing so ourselves. So turn off the TV (except for Ellen), cook a delicious meal (and then order out the next night), and give your child that organic broccoli (with a bite of Flour’s famous sticky bun). Because THAT, my mama friends, is having it all.
I totally agree with this. A friend of mine asked me how I can have three small kiddos and also do volunteer work, and I answered, "I have lowered my standards," which was only a little bit sarcastic. I aspire to "good enough" on a whole range of issues, and have relinquished control over things that don't matter (e.g. when the Duchess wants to wear the same outfit five days in a row, she can, but she has to wear snow boots). It is definitely a lot more fun this way, and my energy is conserved for the most important things.
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