I want an Oompa Loompa now Daddy!

This happened in the car yesterday after I picked M up from school:

Too cool for school M

M: I want my iPad.
Me. Excuse me?
M: I want my iPad, please.
Me: It is at home.
M: But I WANT it (said with about 50% more whine than before)
Me: I know you want it, but it is at home, there is nothing I can do.
M: BUT I WANT IT! (we are up to about 75% whine/scream here)
Me: M, what do you want me to do? It is not in the car, I cannot make it appear. 
M: I WANT MY IPAD AND I WANT IT NOW!!
Me: M, you do not talk to Mommy that way. Stop. 
M: Why are you so mean!!
Me: I am not being mean at all. 
M: You are mean! You won't let me have my iPad!
Me: I am not going over this again. I do not have a magic wand. I cannot make your iPad magically come from home into the car right now. 
M: I want Daddy!
Me: Why do you want Daddy?
M: Because he is nice to me! I love Daddy and he loves me!
Me: I love Daddy too.
M: But, I really love him!
Me: I really love him too, and I really love you too. 
M: But, I love Daddy!!

We have been lucky with M these last 4 years. We didn't have the terrible twos. The threes were thoroughly enjoyable. But oh 4! Curse you 4!!

Just in the last few months M has developed the attitude of a tween girl. It isn't all the time, but it pops up at least once a day. There are screams of "I want!" or her telling me straight out to do something like I am her servant. There is a lot more whining, and a whole lot more yelling. She is also doing this new thing of screaming at the top of her lungs when you don't give her what she wants. Oh what fun.

Most of the time I am able to diffuse the situation by changing the subject, or making her laugh somehow, but sometimes I will not stand for this type of behavior, and I make it known. I never yell back at her, but I do the stern Mommy voice and lay down the law. She knows when I am serious. I have even once put my hand over her mouth while she is screaming at the top of her lungs and gave her the evil mommy eyes. Every time I do something like this she calls for Daddy.

Daddy is the good cop to my bad cop.  Hubs and M have a relationship that is unlike my relationship with M. He knows how to snap her out of one of these moods in an instant. He can put his glasses on upside-down and have her in stitches in a second. I do not have this kind of power over M.

Daddy is the one that she calls out for in the middle of the night - why? Because he is the one that will cave and crawl into bed with her. I will tell her to go back to bed and then stumble back into my own bed down the hall.

The other day at bedtime M was giving me a hard time. She kept calling for Daddy, and I explained that I was going to put her in pajamas and get her ready for bed, then Daddy would come in and read to her. That was no good, she wanted him now, so the "but I love Daddy!" started. And we did the same thing as above, but this time when I said "I love you so much M, don't you love Mommy too?" she flat out said "No I don't." I had to walk out of the room because my heart broke a little bit.

I know she wasn't serious. I know she really didn't even understand what she was saying, but still I was so hurt! She did know that she said something to hurt my feelings though because I left the room so abruptly after telling her that what she said wasn't nice. And the next morning she told Hubs that she "wasn't nice to Mommy last night."

I know there are years of this to come. I know she will tell me she hates me, and won't really mean it, but damn it hurts!

Val on the other hand is the parasite to my host still. Sure she is the queen of going limp and writhing on the floor while screaming, but one belly zurburt and she is putty in my hands. Oh how I love a 17 month old that doesn't say much other than "food!"

Like I said, M is only like this for a smidgeon of the day - for the most part she is the perfect child. But when the Veruca Salt comes out, she comes out with a vengeance!