I'm doing it mom!
A sound from the bathroom I
enjoy hearing now.
Why do so many
Think my daughter is a boy
Can't wear pink always!
Costco and Whole Foods
Thank God for you when it rains
and taking credit
Oh snot, will you stop
constantly running from nose?
Love you Boogie Wipes!
Ran out of ideas
Here, play with this old headband
The best toy ever
I'm back at the gym
Spandex stretched over my fat ass
Wiping up crotch sweat
Da Dada Dada
That is all I hear all day
No love for Mama?
Oh big baby head
Like an orange on a toothpick
Screen movies on back
My kid poops a ton
Five to six poopy diapers
Thatta girl Marlo!
Pooping at Costco
One leg up, face red, grunting
Here's your free sample
Little Toots McGee
When you get older you can
blame it on the dog
Hello muffin top
I hate you and wish you'd leave
Mmm...pizza with rones
Only thirteen pounds
How can your poops smell so bad
Looks like creamed spinach
My daughter's the best
She thinks I'm the funniest
Well, so do I though
Righty and lefty
What happened to you my friends?
Looking sad these days
Pancakes are for brunch
Not to be put in your bra
Pass the syrup please
Fun bags you say sir?
More like sad empty balloons
Thank God for push-up
Harry Potter scars
All over lower belly
Quidditch Anyone?
Elastic waist pants
You are my best frenemy
Should throw you in trash
Oh cottage cheese thighs
You went from lite to homestyle
I should hit the gym
